


Beware the fist

by baenjolras



Series: Muppetjolras [2]
Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types, Sesame Street - All Media Types, The Muppets - All Media Types
Genre: I'm so sorry Viccy Hugo, Other, also for everyone who wanted this, anyways here's wonderwall, but I stick to my own idea, but you owe me a bit too much, hello buds from ex Nutfest not muppetjolras gc, like Phantomjolras and Granraoul, there were many suggestions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-05
Updated: 2016-09-05
Packaged: 2018-08-13 06:02:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7965340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baenjolras/pseuds/baenjolras
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the land of endless despair and nothingness walks a brave muppet with his fist clenched.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Beware the fist

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Raise the fist of freedom high](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7780798) by [baenjolras](https://archiveofourown.org/users/baenjolras/pseuds/baenjolras). 



Dead silence. Black stars shone on the night sky. Noises like moaning, whimpering and screaming replaced crickets and night birds singing. Is this what death is like? Not a soul and yet such a strong feeling of the presence of the same. Not a flea, not a worm in the walley of death and yet one figure walked forward.

It was Muppetjolras, a little muppet of a big heart and even bigger fist. He was searching for his long lost partner (not really long lost, I wrote the first part to this shit... a couple of weeks ago, time flies fast when you're writing shitty tweets and drinking milk, let's keep going). Muppetjolras was lost and desperate, but his fist was even more desperate, it was swollen from how much it was desperate. Suddenly, he heard a weak whimper.

"Muppetjolras..." he heard your silent moans and rushed to you right away.  
"Mon cher, what happened to you?" with fabric tears in his fabric eyes he whispered, scared and worried about you.  
"My... love... my darling," you sang, weak, but with a lot of passion still, "I hunger... for... your..." you did not get to finish when a monstrous, green Lovecraftian creature rose from the ground and snached you with one of his tentacles.

"Hahaha" Cthulhu laughed.  
"You tentacled bacon nose!" Muppetjolras cursed.  
"P'auta sha Cshiafthia (transl: Praise the Cthulhu)" the creature yelled. (Okay, sidenote: I'm using some random generator, big sorry to H.P. Lovecraft)  
"What the heck did you just say to me?" said Muppetjolras, puzzled.  
"I taug l'auta sha Cshiafthia, xuia niallas (I said praise the Cthulhu, you Muppet)" full of rage, Cthulhu replied. (This is going horrible, let's listen to some tunes while Cthulhu is taking a quick English course or whatever, for real, stop right here, go listen to Evanescence, leave in the comments what you've listened, and for the love of god, don't make it Bring Me To Life).

"Now I eat you lovefriend" Cthulhu roared. (It's a quick course, give him a break)  
"You shall pay for this!" Muppetjolras yelled and lifted his fist higher than usual. His fist opens up and tiny wings come out of it. He flies up to Cthulhu's eyes and punched him with his other fist, which was not as trained and strong, but he still managed to blind one of Cthulhu's eyes. In the same moment, Cthulhu sneezed and blew Muppetjolras away. When Cthulhu wiped his nose with one of his tentacles, he started to pull your trousers down, oh there, he pulled them down, damn that was fast! Oh damn, while I was busy tweeting about my big failure of putting a dot right after an exclamation mark, he already pulled down your underwear and started lubing not one, not two, but three of his tentacles. 

Muppetjolras struggled to find his wig. It was originally his grandma's wig so he had to find it or grandma would find him and spoon his  fabric eyes out, not really spoon then, she'd probably use a knife or, y'know, scissors. He finally found it, but he had to fight a tiger, lion, Harambe (he just pulled down his pants, tweet #FabricMuppetDicksOutForHarambe rn) and an old man named Tim. Once that was settled, he put the wig back on and went on to defend your honor. 

Cthulhu wasn't satisfied with any of the 525600 lubes he had, so he just put on some perfume on his tentacles and was ready to penetrate you. But Muppetjolras came to the rescue.   
"Beware the fist, spawn of Lovecraft!" he yelled and struck Cthulhu with his fist, just a second ago he double jumped, twice. The beast fell down, unconscious (by the way I have no idea how to spell unconscious, I literally just googled it and am copy pasting it rn). 

Muppetjolras embraces you, your pants are... who knows where, Cthulhu probably ate them along with your underwear.   
"What did you want to say to me, mon cher?" he asks you gently.  
"I... hunger... for... your... fist" you finished singing. You barely got to breathe in and Muppetjolras already placed you in the position and was warming up his fist.   
"I'll fist you right I will, I'll fist you right I will" he sang under his breath while you giggled, all excited. 

"Are you ready, mon cher?" he asks you one last time.   
"Yes, fist me, Muppetjolras" you basically yell and he fists you with the hyperspeed. He was ready to fist you again, but then he realized that you disappeared.   
Muppetjolras suddenly hears the ringing. A bike bell. He sees a mailman, a skeleton mailman.   
"Are ya Muppetjolras?" he asked in a strange accent.   
"Oui" Muppetjolras answers and mailman gives him a worn out envelope. Weirded out (probably by the mailman and the possibility of the post offices and postal service in the afterlife), Muppetjolras opens the envelope. 

"My dearest, Muppetjolras,

your fist sent me back in time. I'm in the year 0, and I'd suggest you find a way to come here, because there is something you must see.

xoxo gossip reader"


End file.
